Kinder anime
by ive.run.out.of.ideas
Summary: Small collection of very short, very stupid, and very random fanfics.This is a mixture of anime characters.....put into kindergarten! No gud at summaries...sorry...well, read it anyway, i'm new to fanfic, so be nice. all based on real ppl. WARNING:RANDOM
1. Chapter 1

Note: my fanfic is based on real live ppl, so don 't be shocked if weird things

happen. I would also like to thank my friends anonymous and Marcus Tam for

coming up with the odd solution.

P.S. I /R m not sure if I own Naruto...

Kinder-Anime!

Chapter 1:Introduction

bell rings

Silence sweeps over the schoolyard...all of a sudden...the teachers are trampled

by hyperactive kindergartners. The kindergartners enter the classroom in the

following order: Sasuke, Gonard, Kagura of the Wind( who flew in on a big fat

feather), Miroku ( "look at the pretty girls" ), Sango, Naraku ( "muhahaha " ), Guano,

Ayame ( " Where' s Kouga?" ), Lust, Choji ( " barbecue" ), Temari and Gaara ( "I'm a chick magnet "), Kabuto, Zaku, Jiraiya ( "That girl in black looks real... " ), Neji and Hinata, and finally HaluHi. The teacher (A.K.A. Kurenai) Comes in. "Hi! I 'm Kurenai-sensei, and I' m your teacher. Everybody please introduce yourselves in an orderly fashion. "

2 hours later...

The door opens...and it starts to rain ..PEAS! "You 're late" All the hyper

little kids bored into him with their big eyes. The raining peas became a storm of peas. " Do you know who I am? I 'm the Green Pea Giant, God of the Underworld! But you can call me GPG GU for short. " the latecomer said in a nasally voice.

Kurenai-sensei replied " For crying out loud! Why the heck are you wearing a green kilt?" It 's hideous, a mole on the face of the fashion world. -" Oh well. Never mind. Everybody" Kurenai said, as she had noticed that many of the kids had begun bouncing off the walls again"TAKE A SEAT!"

Meanwhile, in the 7R classroom...

All the little monsters - I mean children- walked- or should I say fought?-

into the classroom in this order: Kohaku, Kanna, Shippou ( " I want chocolate"), Ino( " Sasuke" ), Muso, Sakura ( "I want Sasuke"), Shino Lily ( " I feel pretty" ), Shikamaru ( " This is such a drag. " ), Rock Lee ( " I 'm Konoha's handsome devil" ), Kagura ( she's from fruitsbasket, and to avoid confusion, she will be known as Kagura FB), Mitsuki, Dosu, Kin, Tatsuki ( "I ' m gonna kick your ass Bushy Brows" ), Sai , Sesshomaru ( " Where is Rin?" ), and finally sweet Shinobu ( " I' m scared "). They began to descend into chaos( they were already in chaos, so I guess they went deeper in), when their teacher ( A.K.A. Kakashi) didn 't show up. Well, actually, he was just 2 hours late...

Now, for the side story...

# Gaara and Temari Argue over the Phone -#

Gaara somehow got a list of phone numbers, and began to randomly dial and call.

After about half an hour, Temari came along. " Gaara, what are you doing on the phone? I need to use it. " " Just a minute, I ' m using it. " " OK . I 'll be back.

15 minutes later...

Gaara is still on the phone. Temari comes back. " Gaara , GET THE F OFF

THE PHONE" ( you don ' t often hear a 5-year-old swearing) " come back later"

20 minutes later...

Temari is whacking Gaara to death with her full-sized fan and is talking on the

phone. Gaara ends up in the doctor's office. Looks like Gaara learned a lesson

today.


	2. Chapter 2: Class President

Special thx to my friend/partner, who remains anonymous, and to my friend Kristy, although I can't remember what she did...

to avoid confusion(yes _again_) the green pea giant is the God of Underwear, not the Underworld.( Yes I said underwear)

Chapter 2: Class President

Kakashi and Kurenai decided to elect a class president from among the kindergartners. When they told the hem-hem students this, they were speechless...for once.

Recess

Ino and Sakura sat in the grass, pulling on either one of (the real) Sasuke's arms, making him seriously dizzy. You could tell; he was saying " I like the class president" over and over again. Ino and Sakura never thought about running for class president before, but now... "OK. So whoever becomes prezzy, also gets Sasuke. Deal?" "Deal."

The competition was intense for the next 2 weeks:

Day 1: Dress for success; Sakura came to school in big show- offish dresses with ridiculous flounces, and a big, frilly, red ribbon on her head. Ino wore oversized business suits and her mother's high-heels for the rest of their campaign. They thought they would win with their outfits, but they looked like tha. Seriously.

Day 2: Bribe the voters; No one really knows where a pair of five-year-old girls got this idea, but they really did try hard. They even bribed Kurenai and Kakashi. It didn't work . You've got to give them credit for trying though.

Day 3: Bully students into submission; Ino and Sakura seriously want to win. Wow. Imagine a little blond and a quiet pink-haired pinning people to a wall... "the Green Pea Giant, God of Underwear does not vote!" "Okay, then stay up on that tree." "The Green Pea Giant-"Oh shut up."

Day 4;: Do your best in all school subjects (and show-off while you're at it) ; It seems that this idea was planted in their little heads by Sakura. She believed those other kindergartners would vote for her if she showed-off. It's amazing how wrong a crazy five-year-old could be.

Day 5: If you can't win, then cheat; This is just plain unprincipled. Ino tried to frame Sakura for stealing her cookie. Funny stuff.

Day 6: Pull out all your dirty tricks; Sakura tried to get Ino back by setting a trap for her. It worked, unlike Ino's trick, and Ino dangled from a tree by a skipping rope for about 15 minutes. Ino'll get Sakura back. She promised.

Day 7: Attempt to assassinate your competition; Ino caught Sakura in the bathroom. She pinned Sakura to the bathroom door with a hairpin, then took out a butter knife and pointed it at her. Luckily for Sakura, Lily walked in at that moment. Of course, everybody knew Lily went to the bathroom every hour or so. So Ino's first attempt failed. Then, during art class, Ino tried to stab Sakura with her safety scissors. Nothing happened. I told you Ino would get her revenge. I just never said she would fail.

Day 8: Make plans for Sasuke and you as a couple ( afterthought: also plan victory speech); Be creative, make this up for yourself. There are two reasons for this: A) I'm to lazy to write it down and B) They're really just making it up as they go along. Sakura and Ino's minds are diabolical, not political.

Day 9: Ahhhhh... the big day, when they announce the class president...(drum roll please)... " and the class president is..." Who wins? You'll have to find out next chapter...

Hinata: the election was fun!

HaluHi: I totally agree with you Hinata.

Neji: Of course you do, you two are telling the story!

Both: Sorry, what did you say?

Neji: Never mind...

Ayame: I want Kouga!

All: What are you doing here?!?!?!

Ayame: Looking for Kouga of course.

All: HE'S NOT IN THIS, FOR THE LAST TIME!


	3. Chapter 3: Teams

Note: My friends can't help me, so I got someone else in their place. I know I skipped a term. Deal with it.

Chapter 3: Team listings

Kakashi sat down in the kindergarten classroom the day before school started. _Why did I ever volunteer to teach these crazy kids? Why is this school so low-budgeted?_ He thought.

The next day………………………………………………………………………..

Kakashi and seven other people walked in. It was the beginning of second term, and the day they would name the class president. For once, the class didn't throw things at him. That, at least, was an improvement. "Today, I will name the class president," Kakashi shouted over them as they started talking again, "and divide you into teams. First of all, the class president is Kagura Sohma." Sakura and Ino were crying in each others' arms ("Sasuke will never love me now") while Kagura was breaking the table (Kyo-kun is mine!". Kakashi continued "When I call out your name, you will stand beside one of these people" he pointed to 'these people' "Looks like there are some new people. Let's welcome them. I'm too lazy to actually read out all of your names, so I'll just pass out these pieces of paper. Figure it out for yourself."

Here are the Teams:

1.Team Gai

1)Neji Hyuuga

2)Sango

3)Miroku

4)Zaku

5)Kabuto

6)Kagura of the Wind

2.Team Baki

1)Dosu

2)Kohaku

3)Guano

4)Haluhi

5)Kagura Sohma

6)Kaoru Kamiya

3. Team Anko

1)Naraku

2)Green Pea giant

3)Sai

4)Nanao Ise

5)Shino Aburame

6)Lily

4.Team Iruka

1)Karin Kurosaki

2)Gonard

3)Momiji Sohma

4)Tayuya

5)Tsubame Sanjo

5.Team Kurenai 

1)Winry Rockbell

2)Kanna

3)Sesshomaru

4)Jiraiya

5)Rock Lee

6)Tatsuki Arisawa

6.Team Asuma

1)Ino Yamanaka

2)Choji Akimichi

3)Sakura Haruno

4)Sasuke Uchiha

5)Shippo

6)Kin Tsuchi

7. Team Kakashi

1)Hinata Hyuuga

2)Naruto Uzumaki

3)Gaara

4)Temari

5)Shikamaru Nara

6)Ayame

To be continued……………………………………..

Coming up next: Side story: The super secret diary of Naraku

Hinata: Sakura and Ino sure are upset……

Neji: Of course they are.

Haluhi: why are you so smug about it?

Neji: 'cause I put a bet on them.

Kagura smashes window: KYO-KUN! YOU ARE MINE!

Hinata, neji, and Haluhi run away………


	4. Chapter 4 : MI:Blazing Konoha part 1

YES! I found it! I do own Naruto!

Chapter 4: Mission:Impossible 1 (Konoha Blazing) Part 1

For what was probably the first and last time, Kakashi was early. His students were baffled and shocked by this and some (like Tsubame and and Gaara) fainted. When the bell rang, Kakashi looked at them with an evil look in his eye. "Today, we are going to be doing our first mission. I hope you remember your teams? If you don't, then too bad, because I'm not going to tell you again. Find your teams first, then I'll tell you what to do."

For the next 15 minutes, there was a lot of head-butting, pushing, shoving, crying and bleeding as 40 5-year-olds tried to sort themselves out. When they finally did, Kakashi began to tell them what their mission was. "Today, you will be setting fire to as many buildings as you can." The poor little kids looked at him, then understood why their teacher had been early. Shikamaru raised his hand as everyone around him stared with their mouths open. Shikamaru was totally unmotivated and spent most of his time sleeping, so they were surprised to see him raise his hand. "Teacher, how is this supposed to help us?" Kakashi's expression did not change one bit. "You'll learn the all important ninja skills of running and hiding." He said in answer to the lethargic's question. Rock Lee screamed "YES! We must burn Konoha to the ground if we are to become great Konoha NINJA!" nobody tpld him that they couldn't be the great ninja of a dead village. The new class president asked "Kakashi-sensei, what will happen to the failures?" Kakashi thought for a moment. "I guess they'll be cleaning up the destruction everyone else caused." Kagura S. continued

"And the people who pass?" "Nothing." He said simply, "Get yourselves ready, because we'll start after tomorrow. Get some rest. You're going to need it."

Hinata: Oh no! Konoha will be on fire, and it's all because of US!

Haluhi: Don't worry, it's not like we're burning the whole village down.

Neji and Hinata looked hard at her.

Meanwhile:

Ino was passing out little blue flowery invitations to all the girls. "What's that?" asked Kagura and her sister. "It's an invitation to my sleepover birthday party you red-eyed idiot!" Ino replied. Kagura took out her feather and, grabbed her sister and flew away. This wasn't very effective as she could only go 2 feet off the ground and at the amazing speed of 2 km/h. But Ino didn't care. She invited everyone, even her sworn enemy, Sakura. She was on a roll.

A little later, Momiji asked Ino to train with him, as he wasn't used to torching or destroying things. Ino smugly replied "I'm sorry, Momitchi-chan, but I've got a sleepover party to attend to. Today's my birthday. " Momiji wished her a happy birthday and hurried off. However, on the way to the little boys' room, he was intercepted by Jiraiya and Rock Lee, who wanted to know why Ino was bossier than usual. After that, pretty much all the boys knew. They hatched a plan to unravel the mystery that was Girl. In other words, they were going to spy on the sleepover. Pretty much all the boys participated except for those that were morally sound in mind. Some were convinced when Rock Lee inspirationally said "For the sake of knowledge!"

I'm too lazy to keep writing...deal with it.


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